Houmon Resources Cares about all Crewmembers of the B.M.S.S. Antioch.
Any and all questions and concerns can be filed in tripilicate with HR at
FOUCS & Goals!
Strength in Unity
Climate Engineer, Lieutenant Mogh*pop* Gomez. has informed me that the climate control regulators are in fact fine, and in perfect working order. If you are too hot, or cold perhaps you should seek medical attention.
There is no need to call in any outside Bannerflex repair crews/death squads!
Remember the BMSS ANTIOCH is not a drain on Bannerflex resources and is a productive, cheerful, well-rounded member of the Bannerflex family!
Thanks to innovative measures take by former Chief Engineer Paula Brognorf, the Antioch has
developed a complete system of self-maintenance. Once we fill our quota from any particular minging assignment we harvest any left over raw materials to be processed into parts for any and all repairs. Saving the company Billions in credits over the life of our ship!
*In honor of the perfectly working climate control system, ALL on-board uniform regulations will be temporarily relaxed.
Once the climate control system is enhanced to even more perfect working order, standard uniform regulations will be reinstated
*Annual Eleventhtenial Release Ceremony will take place next week.
All Crewmembers are encouraged to attend.
Any Crewmember that would like to attend, must sign up for a special double workshift to cover time lost during the ceremony.
In less than five hours we will be docking in sector 7G of the Jersiflay Asteroid field. All tools and equipment must be primed and ready for field inspection.
An Antioch special thanks to Janet Po for filing the most forms in the shortest period time. Janet will be formally recognized by the Bannerflex Home Office with a gift card of credits redeemable at any Banneflex Base store, or No-Fo Galactic Notary Delivery ship.
The Weekly Worker
For your Health
Medical Emergency update:
Everything is perfect!
The Kitchen staff has informed me that our recent supply of U.D.A.C.P.P.O.P.E.C.A.N.F. Incorporated brand FoodLoaf has been found to be tainted with a highly toxic fungial spore.
Any and all Foodloaf cubes must be incinerated immediately. Please report to Medical if you notice any strange symptoms that can be attributed to early stages of the fungal infection.
Symptoms include but are not limited to:
Coughing, sneezing, drymouth, wetmouth, Bloody eyes, fever, chills, nervousness, increased gambling, hairy discharge, and enhanced mathematic ability.
All crewmembers will revert to The Bloatbeast rations until our next payload deposit in six months.
Head Science Officer Ripley would like to inform the crew, that glowing genitalia specifically is in fact a symptom of Niaxial Herpes, and not Acute Radiation Poisioning.
If you exhibit any unnatural illumination please make an appointment immediately with Chief Medical Officer Dr. Pazuzu Overlord of Darkness and Eater of Worlds, or Nurse Carol for treatment.
If left untreated Niaxial Herpes can produce a discharge corrosive enough to eat throug the hull of the ship.
Treatment is manditory, as any infected run the risk of damaging the ship.
Even if you have not presented any symptoms, If you have had any contact with Chadryllium Oxydase the Radio Active Plasma Cloud on Deck three, please report to medical for testing.